Debut of Egyptian God

I just dropped my debut single “Egyptian God”.  Check it out on YouTube.

Lyrics by Lazarus Mudd

Music by David Bowie

Horseshoes and Grenades

Almost only counts

So says the merchant of lemonade

Horseshoes and Grenades

Stick it all out

Show us the bosomful bounty

Horseshoes and Grenades

Make it come all about

Like a listless hermaphrodite

Horseshoes and Grenades

Almost never counts

Unless you the power to make it right

Ra and Osiris

Ptah and Isis

The Egyptian gods ascend

Spilling the seed of Sin

Making misery of men

This is how the world begins

And this is how it ends

Through Horseshoes and Grenades

Through competition we maim

Until only the Egyptian God remains

Egyptian God

November 25 Impromptu Concert -“Egyptian God”

nefertiti

Things were boring at the other place so Lazarus Mudd put on an impromptu concert for the poor, neglected readers of IPR.  Five songs were performed including one new original written just that day for the occasion.  Of course, Cyberpig removed the concert from the page a few hours after it posted, but it is saved below in all its glory.

I am Going to the Lordy 

I am going to the Lordy, I am so glad, 
I am going to the Lordy, I am so glad, 
I am going to the Lordy, 
Glory hallelujah! Glory hallelujah!
I am going to the Lordy. 
I love the Lordy with all my soul,
Glory hallelujah! 
And that is the reason I am going to the Lord,
Glory hallelujah! Glory hallelujah!
I am going to the Lord. 
I saved my party and my land, 
Glory hallelujah!
But they have murdered me for it, 
And that is the reason I am going to the Lordy, 
Glory hallelujah! Glory hallelujah!
I am going to the Lordy!
I wonder what I will do when I get to the Lordy, 
I guess that I will weep no more
When I get to the Lordy!
Glory hallelujah!
I wonder what I will see when I get to the Lordy, 
I expect to see most glorious things, 
Beyond all earthly conception
When I am with the Lordy!
Glory hallelujah! Glory hallelujah!
I am with the Lord.

Something seasonal:

Must Be Santa

Who’s got a beard that’s long and white?
Santa’s got a beard that’s long and white
Who comes around on a special night?
Santa comes around on a special night
Special Night, beard that’s white
Must be Santa
Must be Santa
Must be Santa, Santa Claus
Who wears boots and a suit of red?
Santa wears boots and a suit of red
Who wears a long cap on his head?
Santa wears a long cap on his head
Cap on head, suit that’s red
Special night, beard that’s white
Must be Santa
Must be Santa
Must be Santa, Santa Claus
Who’s got a big red cherry nose?
Santa’s got a big red cherry nose
Who laughs this way: “HO HO HO”?
Santa laughs this way: “HO HO HO”
HO HO HO, cherry nose
Cap on head, suit that’s red
Special night, beard that’s white
Must be Santa
Must be Santa
Must be Santa, Santa Claus
Who very soon will come our way?
Santa very soon will come our way
Eight little reindeer pull his sleigh?
Santa’s little reindeer pull his sleigh
Reindeer sleigh, come our way
HO HO HO, cherry nose
Cap on head, suit that’s red
Special night, beard that’s white
Must be Santa
Must be Santa
Must be Santa, Santa Claus
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
Carter, Reagan, Bush and Clinton
Reindeer sleigh, come our way
HO HO HO, cherry nose
Cap on head, suit that’s red
Special night, beard that’s white
Must be Santa
Must be Santa
Must be Santa, Santa Claus
Must be Santa
Must be Santa
Must be Santa, Santa Claus

This song is dedicated to Dwight Howard:

He Was a Friend of Mine

He was a friend of mine
He was a friend of mine
Every time I think about him now
Lord I just can’t keep from cryin’
‘Cause he was a friend of mine
He died on the road
He died on the road
He never had enough money
To pay his room or board
And he was a friend of mine
I stole away and cried
I stole away and cried
‘Cause I never had too much money
And I never been quite satisfied
And he was a friend of mine
He never done no wrong
He never done no wrong
A thousand miles from home
And he never harmed no one
And he was a friend of mine
He was a friend of mine
He was a friend of mine
Every time I hear his name
Lord I just can’t keep from cryin’
‘Cause he was a friend of mine.

This next song goes out to NewFed.  Wherever you are brother, I love ya:
Never Learn Not to Love

Cease to resist, come on say you love me
Give up your world, come on and be with me
I’m your kind, I’m your kind, and I seeCome on come on, ooo I love you pretty girl
My life is yours, and you can have my world
I’m your kind, I’m your kind, and I see

Never had a lesson I ever learned
I know I could never learn not to love you
Come in now closer
Come in closer closer closer ahhhh

Submission is a gift, give it to your lover
Love and understanding is for one another
I’m your kind, I’m your kind, and I see

Never had a lesson I ever learned
I know I could never learn not to love you
Come in now closer
Come in closer come in closer ahhhh

Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhhhhh
Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhhhhh

Now for an original composition:

Egyptian God

Horseshoes and Grenades
Almost only counts
So says the merchant of lemonade
Horseshoes and Grenades
Stick it all out
Show us the bosomful bounty
Horseshoes and Grenades
Make it come all about
Like a listless hermaphrodite
Horseshoes and Grenades
Almost never counts
Unless you the power to make it right
Ra and Osiris
Ptah and Isis
The Egyptian gods ascend
Spilling the seed of Sin
Making misery of men
This is how the world begins
And this is how it ends
Through Horseshoes and Grenades
Through competition we maim
Until only the Egyptian God remains

Thanks for listening.  I hope you enjoyed the impromptu concert.

1. I am Going to the Lordy
2. Must Be Santa
3. He Was a Friend of Mine
4. Never Learn Not to Love
5. Egyptian God

Buick Ass Commercial

I normally don’t like to watch TV commercials but this one really caught my eye.

It’s all about the ass.  You can tell just by the comments left on YouTube.  Ass draws in the interest no matter the quality of the product.

//gifs.com/embed/mistaken-identity-all-new-buick-lineup-commercial-buick-ZVAYn5

This is the focus needed in the body politic.  I’m starting to think that was the whole point of the Kendall Jenner photo shoot.

Everything is a-OK

4chan shows how easy it is to trick loony leftists into accepting false allegations against Judge Kavanaugh.

tweeten-1537901086038-620x405

LOL.

Creepy porn lawyer so desperately wanted a mainstream discussion of Kavanaugh’s participation in “a train” that he overlooked the obviously false nature of the allegations.

For those of you not in the know, “a train” is where a line of men insert their erect penises into the anus of the man directly in front of them, penis to anus, penis to anus (like a human centipede) with the head usually being a woman with a penis in her vagina, anus or mouth. Example (NSFW)

This just shows how easy it is to pull a scam over alleged sexual misconduct,  which is exactly what the initial “credible” allegations appear to be.

As for Kavanagh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court, everything is a-OK.

bash

#FascismForever

Cyberpig Fails Miserably in Attempt to Frame & Ban Andy

pigman_by_vindrea-dbvbfth

Cyberpig Paulie Frankel failed in his attempt yesterday to frame and ban Andy Jacobs from IPR over the use of ALLCAPS.

Posting under Andy’s name, Cyberpig called Anastasia Beaverhausen a “massive CUNT,” which he believed would provide justification to ban Andy for using ALLCAPS.  He then pretended to give Andy one last chance:

Andy you have been specifically told not to use CAPS in that manner. If you do it again, I will have no choice but to ban you for life.

To this, Cyberpig as Andy responded “FUCK YOU CUCK MOULTON! FUKC YOU SEEBECK! FUCK YOU PAUL!” Thus Cyberpig decreed “Andy is hereby banned from IPR. Further comments from him will be removed.”

Andy rightfully denied he made the posts and argued:

the ban on all caps has not been enforced, as I have seen others do it here and nobody said anything about it. Banning speech for type size is irrational.

IPR owner Warren Redlich did not buy any of Cyberpig’s lies.  He did not enforce Andy’s ban, which then angered the Cyberpig, who then claimed someone was impersonating him and vented his frustration at the IPR administrators who fail to enforce his war on font sizes, complaining like the cuck he is:

All-caps are considered the equivalent of shouting on the internet and as such net etiquette is usually to ask people not to do it. It’s only when that request is ignored often enough and in large enough doses that rules get issued. I’m sad to hear that no one has been enforcing IPR’s policy about all caps in my absence.

It’s a real shame and very low class that the Cyberpig attempted to use an obituary post to frame and ban Andy.  The article was about the untimely death of Libertarian great Steve Gordon.  Steve was a good man. Originally he was going to help organize all the Bob Barr and Newt Gingrich supporters from Georgia to storm the 2016 convention in Orlando and nominate Nathan Norman for president. Unfortunately this did not materialize, but in hindsight, I’m glad it didn’t. The Libertarian Party in its current state is a joke.

Rest in peace Steve.  I hope you can forgive the Cyberpig’s bad behavior.